Didn't remember that verse

So I'm laughing while listening to Ben sing "Old McDonald had a business, EIEIO . . ."

For those of you that know Ben-speak, you'll appreciate that.

-Jeff

Limbo

That's where I live these days. I'm back home, in far more ways than one, but not quite home yet. We're getting there -- this week we got both a contract to sell our house as well as a contract to buy one here. Things are moving and there's some sense of normalcy on the horizon. Well, there's the familiar craziness that seems normal to us at this point, anyway. :)

It seems like our lives have kind of been on hold the last several weeks. I know it's due to the circumstances -- I mean, what 30 year old guy doesn't dream of moving his wife and kids back in with Mom and Dad? They've been very gracious, though. It's not like my crew can move into a house unnoticed. Actually, they keep telling us they love it and really enjoy having the kids around. It's a good thing, because we're pretty sure we're going to leave one or two of them here when we move out.

I'm interested in how the kids see all of this. We never moved when I was growing up. My parents bought their farm not long after they were married and all through my childhood that's where I lived. When we move into our new house, it will be the fourth that Ally has lived in and she's not even six years old. (Third for Ben, second for Drew.) I'm sure it probably just seems normal to them, but I'm ready for us all to be home.

-Jeff

Back at the lake

First weekend back in Corbin and we managed to get back down to the lake with friends. It was nice. I love it there and I hope that we can do it often. It's fun watching the kids get to do things that are new to them, but I kind of took for granted being around when I was growing up. I had the same thought as we were sitting out in the back yard the other night watching the deer eat apples that had fallen from Dad's apple tree. (It has now become my quest to get some really good pictures of those deer, by the way. I'm sure there are goofy stories that will be slightly embarassing to me and are the kind that make Kel wonder why I get obsessed over not-so-important things to follow soon . . .)

I'd call our first week back a very good one. Mom and Dad have been very flexible and gracious as we have moved our family in and taken over half of their house. I'm sure it doesn't hurt that they now have full access to the grandkids. (what, you guys are here too?) Believe it or not, it was never my plan to turn 30 and then move back in with my parents.

I'm sure it wasn't my parents' plan either, but I'm thankful that they don't seem to mind.

-Jeff

Never say never

When will we learn to just stop talking? Here's some background you may or may not already know. When we first got married, and probably even before, I took every opportunity to try and explain to Kel how Corbin was actually the center of the universe. It's pretty apparent, if you stop and think about it. If it takes 6 degrees to get to Kevin Bacon, it should only take 4 to get back to Corbin. Since Kel was not from there and was not ready to accept this idea, she boldly stated on several occasions: "I will never live in Corbin."

That's all it took. We soon found ourselves moving into our first house -- in Corbin, of course. Also, predictably, she loved it. We had some great relationships with friends, a great church family and lots of opportunities to serve. Work was going very well, but there were some connections at work to Louisville. Again, some careless statements were made: "If we ever move, I'd love to go south. I wouldn't want to go any farther north, and definitely not Louisville . . ."

You'd think we would learn. Of course, we soon found ourselves hauling all of our stuff, and our now larger family with Ally, into another house -- in Louisville. We plugged into a great church and formed amazing new friendships. Along the way, we've added two more sons to our traveling circus of a family, and even though we really had no prior connections to Louisville before, we felt very settled. At this point, we were aware of the pattern. We even jokingly said a few times: "I'll never live in Hawaii . . ." But even at the same time, without a second thought, we would say to each other: "As much as we miss friends and family and all of the familiar things about Corbin, we know we'll never live there again. There's just no way. I mean, how could we?" And we absolutely believed it. 100%

For the record, I'm currently sitting parents' living room -- in Corbin of course. "Work" has brought us back again, and at this point it is still very surreal. We're back for the forseeable future, whatever that means. I guess until we foolishly and boldly make some statement as if we actually knew what the future held.

This is interesting though: Before we were pregnant with Drew, we were having a conversation with my cousin when she asked if we were open to having more children. The last time Kel and I had that conversation ourselves, the answer was a pretty firm "no." When she asked, however, without hesitation we both answered "yes" at the same time with no hesitation. We looked at each other, completely surprised, and began to realize that God had been quietly working on us and we were being prepared for Drew who came along not long after. I think the same thing has been happening to us lately. I can look back and see a desire for things that I always associated with "home." You don't have to look far, the last post on here speaks for itself and that was long before this opportunity was ever presented. Don't get me wrong, we were extremely happy where we were, and it has been/will be extremely tough to leave. Even a few weeks ago, I would have laughed at the thought.

But I cannot imagine having never met Drew even though his arrival was a great surprise. So I'm excited to see what God is preparing us for here -- again.

-Jeff

Wrapping it up

I took the week off of work to get some things done around the house and to have some family time, and a couple of very predictable things happened:

- One or more kids got sick
- I didn't get half of the things I wanted accomplished
- The week was over far too quickly

In spite of it all, I think we had a very good week. We had several frustrating moments stuck in the house with sick/crazy kids. I don't think I'll remember those, though. I'm pretty sure I'm going to remember the good yard time we had.

One of the main things I wanted in our new house when we moved was a useable yard. Our previous yard was tiny, not very kid friendly, and completely unlike what I had growing up. As much as I got frustrated with it, I felt even worse for the kids. While our new yard isn't the biggest, it is definitely much more comfortable and kid friendly - and this week we took advantage of it.

This week was about the water hose, bare feet, and chasing the kids around with bucket-fulls of water flying. There was the night sitting in the grass with Ally and Ben watching the stars come out and seeing who can spot the next one first. Seeing them sitting still and laughing in the grass - a bigger step than you might realize for Ally in particular - felt good. There was the bat darting in and out of the yard that Ben was always a second too late to look up and see - and Ally flinched every time we mentioned it. It was fun - it was exactly what I was missing at the old house.

It felt like home. (I think the bat sealed the deal.) It was a good week. I can't believe Monday is almost here.

-Jeff

Got my finger on the pulse

That's right. People just know that when you need to find out what the likes, dislikes, wants, and needs of our culture are - you come to me. That's why I was invited to take part in a focus group for Fazoli's to evaluate some possible new menu items. Not really. I just happened to be in a Fazoli's and filled out a survey. But either way, I got paid to eat some food and tell them what I thought about it. Not a bad gig.

So at the test kitchen, I heard one of the employees (a 'food engineer') talking to another person about his background. Seems that he started as a pharmacy major and then made the apparently easy transition to food science. This was because, as he explained, the fields are very similar.

Now I'm not completely naive. I know that we eat a ton of stuff that is mass produced and is full of who knows what kind of chemicals, preservatives, etc. We are talking about manufacturing here, not home-cooking. But hearing the ex-pharmacy student turned food engineer talk for some reason really made that sink in for a moment. Of course, I completely forgot all about that as soon as the food started showing up. I mean, I did have a job to do after all.

(By the way, if you need paid evaluations of any of the following:
new golf courses
all-inclusive vacation resorts
Oreos

... then I'm your man!)

-Jeff

Does the fire marshall know about this cake?

A couple of weeks ago . . . it happened. I turned 30. I woke up, same as any other day, but I'm pretty sure out there in the distance somewhere . . . . I could just make out the sound of my sister laughing. (Completely ignoring the fact, mind you, that she's knocking on the door of that same milestone herself . . .) Oh yeah, she's been waiting for this day for a long time.

Actually, the day came and went with a whimper. The whimper was mine - as I was fighting some kind of cold that day and as usual I was a lousy patient. All in all, though, it really wasn't a big deal and I didn't expect it to be. But it wasn't all that long ago that the thought of turning 30 was the pure definition of 'becoming old.' Pretty funny, really.

I remember several things about turning 20. Within a little more than a week of turning 20 I also got married. I distinctly remember still feeling like a kid when faced with the suddenly all-too-real responsibilities of being a new husband and 'official grown up.' It took a little bit, but Kel was definitely ready to start having kids before I was. I clearly remember thinking to myself: "I'm still a kid, I can't be having a kid . . ." I was 24 when Ally was born. I remember the fear when we first came home with her from the hospital and it really sank in that we were on our own with our new baby - and there weren't nurses coming in to help every couple of hours. I definitely felt like a kid.

I had a lot of growing up to do. I still do. The twenties kind of felt like adulthood with training wheels. Yes, you have responsibilities and you learn a lot, but you are kind of expected to still mess some things up because you're young. I'm not so sure the same applies to the 30's. I have a fear that I should have learned more than I did . . . You know, like how it's cute when the 3 month old baby finds his hands and starts sucking his thumb. But when you're that kid sucking your thumb in the 3rd grade it's not so cute anymore. I think I might be that kid.

I guess we'll find out. For now, I'm just going to enjoy my twenty-something wife for another month or so. Then we'll both be 'old.' Just ask my sister.

-Jeff

So I've been thinking

about starting a blog . . . oh, wait. I already did. I just don't post there anymore . . . Well, that's got to change. There have been a ton of things happening lately. I don't say that in order to say that I've been too busy, but more because there's a lot of stuff that I'd like to write about.

More to come, I hope.

-Jeff

The Face of Genius

Kel's cousin made the comment the other day that she thought Drew looked very wise. Now, I'm not sure I would use the word "wise" for someone who regularly poops themselves, but I know where she's coming from. Drew is typically very alert and always seems to be studying everything around him very carefully. I don't remember the other kids being like that quite so early. Although, with the circus that is our house there is plenty to keep him occupied.

It makes me think of my earliest childhood memories. Some, I'm convinced, were very early. Most of them are completely random. I saw a picture recently of me and some of my cousins at my grandparents' house and I looked very small. But I remember that day very well. My cousin Chuck had just gotten one of those nerf boomerangs (had to be the coolest thing I'd ever seen) and I was amazed. It was green with yellow grips. We took turns throwing it and chasing after it unnecessarily (since it kept coming back to where it started.) Nothing important, but I've never forgotten it.

I remember being outside one time when I was pretty small and seeing my dad across the yard waving for me to come over to where he was. For some reason, I ran the other way and went inside instead, and I remember being really upset that I didn't do what he said. I'm positive Dad has no recollection of such an insignificant event. Completely random, but burned in my brain forever.

It then dawned on me that Ally (and quite possibly Ben) are already older than I was in many of the memories that I remember pretty clearly. What are the things that will stick in their memories? Gulp. What are the things that are already cemented in there? Hopefully, they are good memories. But, it doesn't take me too long to think of things I hope aren't the ones that stick. Times I got too upset, or times I was too harsh with them. They've seen me at my best, and at my worst.

The good news is that they still seem to be pretty fond of Dad. I guess I haven't messed them up too badly. Come to think of it, I'm sure my parents made plenty of mistakes with me as they were figuring this parenting thing out - but I have no memories of those. Still, I'm going to try and be more aware of how permanent every situation could be in their minds. No pressure . . . :)

-Jeff

Becoming

What a great weekend! I got the opportunity to go back home to our previous church and lead worship for students during their D-Now weekend. The rust was apparent, but I had a great time and hopefully somehow it was effective. I'm very thankful to our great friends Jeff and Wini for giving us opportunities to serve and work with students that we love very much.

We've been gone from there for over three years now so there were many new faces, but several familiar ones as well. It's always fun to see which students have stepped up to become the leaders of the group, and to see where God is leading them. The theme of the weekend was "Becoming," as in becoming the person that God is shaping you to be. The Bible study leaders talked about, and gave examples from their own lives, how events, relationships, passions, and struggles have ultimately helped make them who they are. The students were challenged to recognize how God is preparing them for what He has in store for them, and challenged to go and do hard things -- to not simply coast along even though teenagers are typically given plenty of opportunity to do so.

We saw several students respond. Some were ready to take hard things that had happened to them and let them strengthen them. Others were resolved to start fresh. I also heard more than one leader make the comment that the 'becoming' process wasn't finished for them either. I think they are right. It seems that we are continually squeezed and shaped by things both good and bad. We are constantly being prepared, and I'm thankful for that.

-Jeff

That's it, I'm going back...

So we've been going through Galatians in our class on Sunday mornings, and Smith is apparently convinced that they were in a city called Galos. Regardless of where they were, Paul was clearly frustrated with their behavior. When he was with them previously, it made sense. They understood the gospel and had been set free by its truth. However, once he left they began reverting back and trying to rely on the Law they had been set free from.

Over and over he tries to explain how foolish they have been. Then there's this comment where Paul calls them his "little children, for whom I am again in the anguish of childbirth until Christ is formed in you!" (Gal 4:19) Now, after just witnessing Drew's entrance into the world, I can clearly see the frustration that Paul was trying to express. I'd hate to be the messenger that had to tell Kel: "You did a great job on that delivery. Let's try again, and maybe he'll stay out this time . . ."

It's a pretty foolish picture, but I can understand the desire. It's what they knew - it was comfortable. I'm pretty convinced that Drew, given how crazy and loud his brother and sister (and me) can make it around here, might think that the comfort and security of the womb doesn't sound too bad right now. But the truth is, he's so much better off where he is. It may not be as comfortable as before, but he's growing. Things may not always make sense, but we're here to take care of him and guide him, and hopefully one day they will.

Sometimes it's easy to fall back into things have already been overcome. For the Galatians, it was a dependence on a Law that only exposed their sin - instead of the gospel that defeats it. For me, sometimes it's sin, often it's insecurity.

What is it for you?

-Jeff

Amazed

Friday was the last day at work of a guy that I've worked with for a few years. He is a pretty interesting guy. He loves music, plays a little guitar, and is also deaf. I believe with a little help (and volume) there are a few frequencies he can pick up which allows him to hear somewhat. He is also an excellent lip reader and it usually seemed perfectly natural to have a normal conversation with him - even though all the while he probably actually heard very little if any of my voice.

As he was saying his goodbyes the subject of his deafness came up and he made a comment that was essentially this: Don't pity people who have a disability who don't fight and find a way to overcome it and live out a "normal" life. I was kind of torn. Obviously, he is a good example of someone who enjoys a lot of life that you wouldn't expect someone with his disability could. However, I thought that was an extremely broad statement and surely there are a ton of disabilities that would truly prohibit someone from agreeing with that.

I went back to my desk thinking about that and happened to see a link to this video. It's of a high school wrestler from Ohio named Dustin Carter - and it is truly amazing. Dustin has no arms or legs. Did I mention he is a wrestler? Did I also mention that I read he was 41-3 in his matches this past season? You can see him in action here.

Wow. My excuses seem pretty lame at this point.

-Jeff

Dreaming of a white Easter?

What a day... A few hours before I took this photo, the kids and I were playing in the back yard, enjoying the sunshine and the warm weather. I remember sitting on the swing with Ben, neither of us even needing a jacket, thinking "I'm glad the cold weather is finally gone . . ." That's what I get for thinking. I never saw it coming.

Great worship service this morning. The place was loud, the church responded, and the joy was contagious. And it should be. We remember "Friday" - all was lost. But it's Sunday now. The tomb is empty. Death couldn't hold on. The price was paid. There is hope.

For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin. Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God. So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus. Romans 6:5-11

How amazing is that? However dark Friday was, it's Sunday now.

Happy Resurrection Day!

-Jeff

Late night, or was it an early morning?

One night/morning this week I was up with Andrew trying to help Kel get some rare - and well deserved - sleep. Seems like it was around 4 am. He was wide awake, of course, and I was somewhere in between. We made our laps around the living room and kitchen, just trying to hold off the inevitable when he decides that he's had enough and let's everyone know that it's time for him to eat.

As we were making our way around the house, I started thinking about how much has changed for our family in the past year. I would have been shocked to look a year into the future and see myself holding a little newborn! The older kids have changed so much, Drew has arrived, we've moved to a different house, pre-school, etc. It's all happened really fast, but much has changed. The interesting thing was, though, a year ago I was completely clueless to all of it.

This time last year, I really had no idea that we would shortly start talking about the possibility of looking for a new house. I was not seriously considering whether or not we should think about having another child. To be honest, I don't have a clue what my expectations for the year would have even been at that point. The only thing I'm sure of is that I saw none of this coming.

I'm not a planner by nature, but I'm married to one. We make a pretty good team in that department, and we're almost always on the same page about where our family is going. But really, we have no clue. One unexpected event can cause us to abandon our most firm plans. This year, the unexpected has been good for us. It won't always be that way, and I was feeling the weight of that reality the other night. As much joy as we've seen lately, eventually there will be hurt, sadness, and loss. That's the reality of the fallen world we live in. Try as we might to avoid it, we can't, no matter how much we plan. For now, I'll take comfort in this:

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. Proverbs 19:21 ESV

Thank you God that your grace is constant - and enough - regardless of our circumstances. And thank you that you have bigger and better plans for us than we can come up with on our own.

-Jeff

Integrity matters?

If you follow college basketball at all, and perhaps even if you don't, you've no doubt seen the mess that is the current state of Indiana basketball. It seems odd to call it a mess. I mean, after all, they are 22-4 so far, easily their best season in several years, and just knocked off their bitter rival Purdue. However, there is a huge gray cloud hanging over the program after recruiting violations by coach Kelvin Sampson have surfaced.

I am never shocked when these types of violations occur anymore. They have become all too common. Although, Sampson had already gotten caught for the same exact type of violations at his previous school and had pledged that it was an honest mistake due to his ignorance of the rules. Indiana, knowing of the previous problems, took him at his word. Kind of hard to argue that excuse this time around, though.

What does surprise me, though, is the reaction of the program and especially that of the fans in this situation. There is outrage at all levels. People want him gone - even though they're winning! It's easy to have that reaction when things aren't going well. However, this is a program that is historically used to winning - a lot - and lately they haven't been. They've been restless, eager for the success they had grown accustomed to. Under Sampson the last two years, there have been signs that things could be turning around. Momentum has been building and this team should go into the tournament as one of the top seeded teams with a realistic shot to go pretty deep. Now, it looks as if it will go to the tournament without it's head coach.

Would this be the reaction everywhere? I have to think not. I mean, we are just talking about phone calls here, right? Seems these infractions could be minimized, you know, in comparison to the greater good that is being accomplished. Well, at Indiana at least, it appears not. I have to hand it to them, it appears that they might just send the message that integrity still means something, perhaps even more than winning.

And who would have thought that Indiana fans might just be wishing for the good ol "non-controversial" days of Bobby Knight . . . :)

-Jeff

Home!

Wow. The past few days have absolutely been a blur. I remember the snow and ice. I remember all of the waiting and frustration at home waiting on the hospital to call and say a bed had opened up. I remember being tired. Then Andrew Franklin was born and I remember forgetting all of that stuff.

It's hard to believe that Drew is finally here, and that today we all got to come home. I remember when we brought Ally home. I remember thinking "Uh, oh. We're on our own and we have this baby that is completely dependent on us. What do we do!?..." It was pretty overwhelming and kind of scary. I still felt like a kid myself and suddenly I'm responsible for a kid!? With Ben, we were anxious to finally get him home since he had to stay in the hospital longer. There was a sense of relief because he was getting healthier and stronger. There was still a little uncertainty in going from 1 child to 2, but mostly relief.

This time, I'm just ready for all of our family to be together. I love being a dad. I love all of these crazy kids running around the house. I love what our family has become and is becoming.

Welcome home, Andrew.

-Jeff

Careful what you ask for . . .

I couldn't begin to tell you how often I've heard my wife lamenting that we never have any good snows anymore . . . . and welcome to the night before we are supposed to head to the hospital to have this baby. There are several inches of snow already on the ground with more possibly on the way. That sounds about right . . .

It's not that I'm worried about labor and delivery being closed due to the weather. I do, however, have this mental image of the car stuck in a ditch and me delivering the baby in the backseat. (Note to self: take Kel's vehicle)

-Jeff

My Super Tuesday

This pregnancy has been an interesting one. Easy for me to say - Kel might have a different way to describe it. After weeks of worrying that this baby was coming too early, with trips to the hospital and medicine to stop all of the contractions, we finally made it to the "safe zone" where the doctors felt comfortable enough to let him come. Kel was able to stop taking the drugs to hold off labor and we got ready for a new baby at any time. That was over two weeks ago, with no activity since.

To our excitement, and Kel's relief, we found out yesterday that the doctors' plan on inducing labor on Tuesday. Planning a date seems odd since neither of the other kids were scheduled, but we are very anxious to meet this new little guy.

I can't imagine my son without thinking of Ben. Knowing how much Ben and Ally are different, I am really looking forward to finding out what makes this guy unique. It's funny how strongly you can feel for someone you've not even met. It's kind of funny, but we weren't always sure that we would have more children. Unknown to us, though, God did have plans for our family, and already has plans for this little man. I'm ready for Tuesday.

-Jeff

The Monday after . . .

A lot of America is moving a little slowly this morning, recovering from what was no doubt an eventful weekend full of parties with friends, tons of food, and everybody talking about the outcome of the big event. Everyone seemed pretty sure of the outcome, and you were scoffed at if you thought otherwise. But, in the end, everybody was wrong and when Punxsutawney Phil finally made his appearance he did in fact see his shadow meaning we are all doomed to six more weeks of winter. Pretty exciting stuff. Also, you may have noticed that the Super Bowl was this weekend.

We got together with our small group from church to watch the game and had a great time. I'm a big football fan, but as time goes on I'm finding the Super Bowl less and less of a big deal. Maybe it's just because I'm just not really emotionally invested in any NFL teams. Although, from the media barrage lasting two full weeks and the pre-game shows that start in the morning (for a 6:30pm game) you'd think you'd have to be crazy not to.

I really did love the game this year. I was happy that the Giants pulled off the upset, but what made it more fun was that absolutely no one gave them any chance of doing it. I don't ever remember any recent sporting event when the outcome seemed so certain. Sure, all of the goofballs like myself had our opinions, but even among the experts and those the most "in the know" couldn't see that this was coming. That always makes me smile. These people should have known, at least, that this was a possibility. That's their job. They live this stuff and are around the game and these players every day.

We are awfully sure of ourselves sometimes. Something to think about the next time you hear the "experts" talking about whatever is popular that day.

And Happy Groundhog Day.

-Jeff

How Great

Interesting worship services this morning. Before the second service as we were walking to the stage, one of the band members learned that his brother had been killed last night. I'm not sure how I would react to news like that, but I'm guessing I wouldn't have done what he did - he played on anyway.

The last song of the service today was "How Great is our God," and as we were finishing up our pastor (who knew about the situation) came up and asked that we sing it again - with some perspective. He expained what had happened and stressed that God really is great - regardless of our circumstances. It's easy to worship when things are great, but things won't always be that way. Even when things seem bleak, don't make sense, and life just hurts - God is still the same as he always was, just like in the good times. Life, however, will continue to cycle between the good times and bad, at least until he comes again to make things right.

Our family has had times like that, and I'm sure I'll write about those at some point. For now, I'm thankful that God is truly great - and in control - regardless of what circumstances we find ourselves in.

-Jeff

And we're off, . . .

. . . as my grandfather used to say, "like a herd of turtles." It always made me laugh. In fact, it just did again.

So what am I doing here? Honestly, I'm not completely sure. There are a few things that I'd like to do with this blog. I'm nearly 30 years old, nearly a father of 3, and sometimes I wonder how life got this far along so quickly. I don't want to coast along and really miss out on an incredible time in our family's life, and I hope that being purposeful about writing some of it down will help me appreciate more just how much we are blessed.

Hopefully, this blog will also become a place where I can work through the things that God is teaching me - through scripture, by examples, and by the places he leads me and my family through. I've wanted to do some sort of journaling for quite a while, but have never been able to settle into any kind of routine. Hopefully, with a little bit of technology thrown in to keep me attracted, I'll be able to do just that. I know I need the exercise.

So, just like all of history's extremely successful projects - I'm setting off with no clearly defined goals or vision. Yeah, this is going to be good. Maybe the turtle herd thought was appropriate after all . . .

-Jeff